Divorce negotiations can be difficult even when both spouses genuinely want to resolve matters fairly. But sometimes, one party is not negotiating in good faith. If you and your spouse are going your separate ways, recognizing the warning signs of gaslighting and other forms of manipulation and/or obfuscation early can help protect your interests and guide you toward more effective legal strategies.
For example, if your spouse constantly changes their position, that’s not a great sign. They may agree to one parenting arrangement or financial split one day, only to reject it the next without explanation. This inconsistency can be a deliberate tactic to frustrate you or delay the process in hopes that you will give up or accept unfavorable terms.
Another red flag is withholding key financial information. If your spouse refuses to share tax records, account statements and/or business valuations, they may be trying to hide assets or manipulate the outcome of your divorce process. Full financial disclosure is required in divorce. Avoiding it suggests that your spouse is not approaching the process honestly.
Making unreasonable demands is also a common sign of bad faith. This may include insisting on sole custody without justification, demanding far more than their fair share of assets and/or refusing to compromise on anything at all. These tactics can lead to unnecessary conflict and may result in costly and drawn-out litigation.
Some spouses also attempt to weaponize the legal process itself. They may cancel mediation sessions, delay court appearances and/or flood the proceedings with unnecessary motions. These actions are often used to wear the other spouse down emotionally and financially.
You should also be concerned if your spouse speaks to you in a manipulative or condescending way during negotiations. Using guilt, threats or emotional pressure to get their way shows that they are not focused on reaching a fair agreement, but rather on controlling the outcome.
What should you do next?
If you notice any of these behaviors, it may be time to shift your approach. An experienced legal team can help you explore options like court-ordered mediation, discovery demands or even litigation, if needed. Negotiating in good faith requires transparency, respect and a willingness to compromise. If your spouse is not meeting that standard, you do not have to accept unfair treatment. And you do not need to seek a fair outcome alone.